True Story

I just finally changed my high-school email just this year!! Turns out you don't get taken seriously when your email was the name of a Taco Bell menu item...Which normally I wouldn't mind at all.. but having a kid in elementary school and seeing as I was the only parent with their email on the mailing list that wasn't my full name..... I figured it might be time to grow old a bit.... BAH HUM BUG!

Dedicated to My Kung-Fu Lover

Because "The Bf" is Asian and because poking fun at Asians never gets old!!

Courtesy of 9GAG

Quote of the Day

One of my BIGGEST pet peeves out of my million other pet peeves...... PEOPLE THAT JUDGE..... So this is one of my FAVORITE quotes out of my million other favorite quotes.......... People that judge can suck it and fuck off because in all reality their judgement is IGNORANCE wrapped up in LACK of KNOWLEDGE..... 

Dear Santa,

It's Christmas list time!!!! Nothing too crazy or anything........

First I will start off small..... I would like a gold watch. Not a dainty girls watch, a big face mans watch. Seeing as Rolex will be a lil far fetch, this Michael Kors watch will work...

Second I absolutely NEED an Iphone.... Since I weened off the Crackberry, this is an absolute must. P.s. Keep in mind I have Sprint.... 

Third I would like a new T.V... This gift isn't just for me it's for Mason too. So it's like a double whammy. Kill two birds with one stone kinda gift. ;-) I am getting tired of watching movies in the dark.. and by dark I am referring to the picture!! I can't see shit on this damn black BOX.....

                               

Last but most certainly not least, I would like Prince Charming delivered to my door. Preferably one that looks like David Beckham, one that oooooozes sexy like David, one with lots of tattoos like David (a MUST), one with a HOOOOT lean body like David and most of all one who is an absolute doll with kids like this beautiful man God is!! 

That is all..... See, nothing too extreme.... Pretty sure you can handle that!!.... In return I will leave out some specially BAKED brownies (pun maybe?) and a nice spiked drink to wash it down....

                                                                          Merry Christmas,

                                                                                     Diters ♥

                          

Float like a Butterfly... Swing like a Geezer!!!!

Former NFL quarterback Joe Kapp who and former CFL (Canadian Football League) enemey of Joe Kapp's, Angelo Mosca got into an old man's rumble during a luncheon for the Grey Cup (CFL's version of the Super Bowl)..... You would think that the geezer with the cane would have won... GREATEST entertainment to come from Canada since Drake and Bieber!!! 

                                    

This Isn't Creepy AT ALL.......

Oh ya know...... Just your average day Creepy Old Man taking a picture with a bunch of little Playboy Bunnies in training..... Nothing to raise an eyebrow over or anything..... dot. dot. dot. dot. NOOOTTTT!!!!

Picture courtesy of THE CHIVE

Acorn PeaNUT Butter Bites

EASY, cute, bite size treats for the holiday season. Did I mention that it is EASY to make??? (Thank you Pinterest).... It took me about 10 minutes to make them. All you need is Nutter Butter Bites, Hershey Kisses, chocolate chips and a lighter!! Heat the bottoms of the Hershey's and chocolate chips with the lighter for literally a second or two and stick to the peanut butter bites...... and BOOM! You're done!!!! 

Another One Bites the Dust

Aahhhh the sick joy I get out of seeing people bust their asses.... too funny! Yes, I am that mom that will laugh at my kid when he falls and ask questions later....When I catch my breath from laughing. So it's ok for me to laugh at other people when they fall. Yet, I would definitely HATE being a celebrity and being photographed at all times because I bust my ass quite often. And I can't image my face looking half as good as Salma's as I fall down either.... All though I would have let go of my kids hand on the way down that way I don't make her fall too! (Just because I laugh when my kid falls doesn't mean I would purposely make him fall.) Sorry Salma..... But great picture!

AMA Fashion Roundup

I live for award shows ONLY to see what everyone will be wearing and to see the performances. The rest of the show I fast forward cause it's all non sense. This AMA's I wasn't too impressed with what everyone wore. No one really wowed me last night. Except for Julie Bowen in her striped sequin dress. So here is a roundup of a few of the celebrities that I needed to talk about.......

 Even though Taylor Swift's dress is beautiful and glamorous, I'm so tired of seeing this annoying girl in the SAME look ALL the time. Change it up a bit, your style is too predictable. I love the fun, sexy striped sequin dress that Julie Bowen is wearing. She looks absolutely STUNNING and rocks this dress!

Can I just say first that both of these dresses and looks are a Fashion FAIL. But since it was a battle of the pink haired ladies, I decided to choose Katy Perry solely based on the fact that her makeup is flawless and her cleavage is on point. Also because Nikki Minaj bothers me. All though Nikki's dress could have been tweaked a bit to make it work.

Ok, Ok, I had to add the two best dressed MEN for the night. First is Robin Thicke. He OOOZES SEXY rock star hotness! Too die for! Next up is John Legend. All black everything...Black on black on black (And I'm just speaking about the clothes people..) Perfectly tailored and flawless. 

These two looks I'm on the fence about. I don't absolutely LOVE them, but then again I don't HATE them either...So they both will be sharing ONE check mark... Anne Vyalitsyna's dress reminds me of what Lady Gaga wore to the VMA's. So to me this dress is a repeat offender. As for Jennifer Lopez, she can do no wrong in my eyes even when sometimes she may just be doing wrong. This dress itself is very beautiful and dramatic. Probably a little bit too dramatic for the AMA's though. It's ok J.Lo, I still adore you.

Fail. Fail. Fail. Fail. Fail. I am all about girls who are confident enough with their bodies to wear body hugging clothes to show off their curves. EXCEPT when they do it so poorly that it is completely UNFLATTERING and in Christina Aguilera's case just plain GROSS. I'm not sure these two have any stylists (from the looks of their dress choices I think it's safe to assume they don't) or a mirror for that matter, but someone in their entourage if not everyone needs to be fired for allowing them to look like this on national television. I would have loved to seen Xtina with her hair BRUSHED and in a dress that isn't two sizes too small. As for Kelly Clarkson, if the dress didn't have the mermaid bottom it would have worked.

Holy Penis!!

There is nothing I love more then RANDOMNESS!!! This soap SLASH penis SLASH Holy Saint would be a perfect example of that......... I'm thinking that this is a perfect stocking stuffer!! 

SOAP-LUXURY SAINT Naughty & Nice: Add some honey scented soap to your bath. This soap brings new meaning to "shower gift". Generous size 6.5"T x 2.25"W 

$20.80 www.pylones-usa.com 

Operation Christmas Child

Please take a moment of your time to check out this great organization. Samaritan's Purse

You take a shoebox, fill it full with all sorts of things for a child (i.e. books, crayons, toys, socks, toothbrush, shirts, etc.) then drop it off to your nearest drop off location (visit the website for a location nearest you.)

Me and Mason are each going to pack a shoe box this weekend! I suggest everyone else does this too. It doesn't cost a lot, but it means the world to a child!

This week is drop-off week, which means this is the last week you can pack and drop off your shoeboxes (11-21 is the last day. That way the kids will receive their boxes by Xmas.) So PLEASE make it a priority! Check out the website for more information about shoeboxes and drop off locations near you.

Pack A Shoe Box LABELS and INSTRUCTIONS

What is it that I do while I am at work all day???..  Watch completely ridiculous videos and get absolutely NOTHING done! 

With that said, This one is pretty funny..... 

Chivalry is Not Dead

                                                                               

Today I saw a little boy about 5 years old pull out the chair for his pregnant mom. It was by far the sweetest thing I have seen in a long while. Bless his little heart!! I can only hope he will forever be that sweet little gentleman even when he gets older and only hope my little monster can also be the perfect gentleman. 

Now a days chivalry has an expiration date attached to the guy.... 

You know the Sour Patch commercial with the Sour Patch doing something bad then being uber nice afterwards? "First they're sour then they're Sweet"(..... I love these commercials btw!)... Yeah well guys are just like that commercial, but BACKWARDS..... 

So to all the forgetful non gentlemen out there.... Please take notes from this little MAN!!  ☺ 

Random Must Have

Bow Tie Swag for Pivo???? I'm thinking a MUST!!!!!

Etsy.com   Sillybuddy handmade dog bow ties $40.00

Auditions

Nothing melts my heart more then a dad out with his kid!! ESPECIALLY AN UBER SEXY DAD like David Beckham. It is the sweetest sight I can ever see. ♡

With that said, I am now holding auditions for all David Beckham look-a-likes to star in the leading role as my "toy"friend.....

Tis The Season to be Crafty

Christmas is by far my FAVORITE time of the year!! Everything about it!! The smell of pine and cinnamon..... The festive decorations and glistening lights..... Christmas music and cheesy Christmas movies.... Wrapping presents.... Giving presents.... Opening presents.... Anything related to Christmas I am all about it!!

Now how do you take my favorite time of the year and make it even more AMAZE-BALLS??! You mix it together with my other favorite thing - D.I.Y Crafting!!

Here is an easy craft for you to get started on..... 

(P.s. I will continue posting more Christmas crafts up until Christmas day so keep checking back.)

Monogramed Wreath

All items can be purchased at any craft store. Prices will not be exact, but very close in range.

Steps:

1. Paint your letter all over with a desired color. I would use red if I'm using red berries that way if there is any gaps between berries it will all blend in. All tho if your using a silver ribbon silver would look nice for the base color. As would gold if you are using a gold ribbon.
2. Arrange berries on the letter as close as you can get them. You will probably have to overlap and cut according to layout. Then hot glue gun onto the letter. Try not to put too much glue that way it will not gunk all over. Just enough for it to be secure. 
3. Tie a ribbon around and hang on your door. Or even in your house!!! 

TA-DA!!!! Now you have a Super Cheap and Super CHIC Wreath!! 

JoJo - Disaster

After hearing JoJo sing Drake's "Marvin's Room" she put herself back on the map for me. So now I can't wait for her new album Jumping Trains to come out, and the first single "Disaster" is the perfect song for me right now! 

                                     

Random MUST Haves

A Bitch Slapping Reality Check

It's too bad that a lot of girls confuse being stuck up and fake as classy....  "Being classy is NOT about being stuck up, but more so about having a simply unique style that will never be forgotten. To be classy is to have respect; respect for others, respect for elders and most of all respect for yourself."

Emilio Pucci "To Die For" DRESS

I was looking at pictures from the Victoria's Secret after party and saw Adriana Lima wearing such a TO DIE FOR dress! Every single thing about it is pure FASHION heaven.

 As STUNNING and SEXY as Adriana looked, she did the biggest fashion NO NO...... 

WEARING THE WRONG KIND OF UNDERWEAR!.... 

We know that you are an underwear model Miss Lima, but it is not necessary to show off your not even sexy undies while wearing such a gorgeous dress.... 

FB FAIL

Ummmm.... So there is this girl I went to grade school with that ALWAYS posts GHETTO ridiculous shit. I finally had to unfriend her because I'M EMBARRASSED for her and EMBARRASSED that people even speak this way and think it's totally normal to post this type of shit......
  

Bethany Tutas

OKAY got ma offer from the da from the beer breakin incident they gave me the 3 repeatin charges but 1 took the weed pipe charge off...3 outta 4...So That makes me a lot more happier...i was FUckInG Suprised kahoots to dat...Other then that imma call a round 4 mutha f**ka's!! ;)

 ·  · Share · 2 hours ago · 

FAIL... FAIL... FAIL.....

Classay Trashay

Not ever a wine drinker and I especially do not like the tart* taste of Red wine. But this bottle has done me pretty and I am loving the taste of it. Which is very RARE coming from a strict BASIC beer ONLY lover......The only other wine I have loved and enjoyed more then I should have was the blush** wine at Olive Garden. 

I loved it more then I should have because by the end of the night my ass was throwing up PINK pasta and PINK Olive Garden salad at Swedriguez's bathroom. (Mind you that I didn't know him long enough to be throwing up all over his bathroom and for him to be cleaning up my chunky leftovers all over the bathroom floor....) Then the next day I woke up with the worst hangover headache EVERRRRRR.... and that was the end of my NOT so Classy Trashy wine night.... 

Come to think of it now that I read it... that was a WEAK first time ever drinking and LIKING wine... NO JUDGEMENT PEOPLE, I love the OLIVE GARDEN and every NON authentic thing about it!!  

Lets hope this night ends up less messy, less dizzy and MORE CLASSY..... 

SNOBBY WINE DRINKER DISCLAIMER:

*Probably the wrong terminology for wine tasting...

**Don't know if that is the right name for the pink looking wine at Olive Garden...

Dear Prince Charming,

Dear Prince Charming (whoever you may be),
Keep this vintage Tiffany's ring in mind when you come to my house and return my glass slipper.

                 Sincerly,

Your beloved PRINCESS Aferdita

WWJSay??

Saw this on a friends FB and HAD to steal it.

Albos VS Serbs

So last Sunday while me and my friends were getting heavily intoxicated at Santisi Brothers (me more so then the rest of my friends) a group of Serbian people sat next to us. I vaguely remember how we got into beef with them or where it all started but I know I woke up the next day remembering I didn't like those Serbian people and they didn't like my Albanian ass. I don't know the exact history of why Albanian's and Serbian's have beef but I guess shit got serious between them ancient years ago. Unfortunately people today are ignorant and still carry it on like I actually give 2 shits about the history.

Well today as I was searching RaisingArizonaKids.com website looking at fun things to do for me and Mason, I stumbled upon a Serbian fair!! How convenient!

Serb Fest. All ages. Folk music and dance performances, Serbian food and beverages, carnival games, rides and more. 11am-10pm. $2 adults, under 12 free. St Sava Serbian Orthodox Church, 4436 E McKinley St. 602-275-7360 or stsava.com.


I think it would be the perfect place to show that this isn't the old fashion days and that we all can get along. Me and my friends need to show up wearing these shirts and show them that this ain't no East coast West coast war....... 

....but if it was, us Albanians would be East Coast (Biggie) all the way.... Jus Sayin'. 

Its Definitely Been One of These Type of Days

Cut-outs and Copy

The cut-out dress is the perfect way to show a hint of skin while being ultra sexy at the same time. Here are a few looks I love along with the much cheaper, affordable version's next to them. 

1. Paprika Maxi Dress With Cut Out $62.90

2. ASOS Body-Conscious Dress with Cut Out Neck - Was $44.93 NOW $21.56

Also available in Cream

3. Lipsy Long Sleeve Cut Out Dress- Was $71.88 NOW $43.13

Also available in Red, Bright Blue and Pink

All these styles are available on Asos.com. Search "Cut-out Dresses" and you will find sooooooo many more great styles!! I wanted to post them all (along with BUY them ALL) but there are toooo many to post. Hope you enjoy!!

Mr. Wrong

Bad boys ain't no good. Good boys ain't no fun....... 

Now if only us gals can find a Good boy in life but a Bad boy in the bedroom.... 

'Nuff Said

Ummmm??? That's Not Creepy At All.....

Probably the funniest, creepiest things I've seen in a long while..... Hahaha! LOVE IT!

Silly vs Skanky

So this Halloween I opted for a silly costume rather then skanky. (Which I'm still not sure how I feel about that.... ) So next year I'm gonna have to make my costume 10x's more skanky to make up for the lack of skankiness this year. 

 These are the only pictures I have of evidence from my night. But thats perfect cause this was the ONLY time in my night that I actually had a good time.... As for the rest of my Halloween night, well, let's just say it was a HORROR story.....

I Love Lucy

After 2 weeks of countless costume ideas. This is what we have decided on.... and I'm not gonna lie... I'm super excited!!

 I have no idea why it took me so long to even think of Lucy and Ricky.. I've always loved watching "I Love Lucy" when I was a little girl. I would get to stay up late with my dad just so I could watch it.... And I'd like to think that all my SHITnanigans are pretty much Lucille Ballish, so me being Lucy would be perfectly fitting!! Not too mention Ricky Swedriguez is PERFECT for Ricky Ricardo.... (and no, not just because his first name is Ricky too) But cause as Ricardo, Swedriguez isn't too impressed with all my SHITnanigans either...... Now I just gotta go on the hunt tomorrow to piece together my outfit for tomorrow night!!. Oh and crap-olahs! I also gotta find this damn hat for Ricky Ricardo's outfit!! 

Pictures to come........... Stay Tuned!!

Inspiration

This WILL be my color scheme for the next place I live in. LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE..... oh wait, did I mention how much I LOOOOVE this?!

Paranoia Activity

Saw this picture on Pinterest and died laughing cause I do this EVERY night and have done this ever since I was little. 

Here are a few other things that gets my Paranoia kicking in overdrive: 

• Taking a shower at night when I'm home by myself.......When you're in the shower you can't hear shit but the water. You don't know if an intruder just came in and is waiting for you in your closet cause he knows you're naked and you are an easy rape!!! 
• When its night time and my dog barks...... Why is he barking? He never barks!!! That must mean there is a killer outside with a knife waiting to kill me! 
• When it's past 8pm and someone rings your doorbell...... Im no fool! I'm not expecting anybody and I've seen the movie "The Strangers".. I just pretend that I'm not home, even though my T.V is blasted and the lights are on. Then I grab Mason and lay really still on the floor behind the couch (that way if people shoot the door down the bullets would miss us) call the person living closest to me and tell them to come over please cause someone just knocked on my door. (True story, I've had to do this twice already. :-/)
• When I lay in bed and hear any out of the ordinary noise.... I lay there pre planning all my possible "panic room" spots in my house or escape routes for me and Mason.   
• Coming home and it's night-time out to see that I left my blinds open.... Now the killer can see in but I can't see out to know where he is! So now I have to rush to close my blinds and run upstairs till I know the coast is clear to come back down.

Yes, I probably just sounded like a real crazy nut job right now..... but this is why it's called PARANOIA***!!! 

            ***par·a·noi·a/ˌparəˈnoiə/

Noun:

A mental condition characterized by delusions of persecution

My New Obsession

Too Sweet Treats....

Got myself in the Holiday Spirit (aka I was BORED) and decided to make some treats.


Dunkin Donut chocolate and glazed Munchkins covered in white chocoloate with M&M's for the pupils and red gel frosting....

Seeing as I don't even like chocolate and neither does Mason. I decided to get even more crafty and wrap em up extra special and give them to "The Bf"

Needless to say, they didn't taste as great as they looked. Turns out they were WAY too SWEET..... But at least they looked Super SWEET!!