I Love Lucy

After 2 weeks of countless costume ideas. This is what we have decided on.... and I'm not gonna lie... I'm super excited!!

 I have no idea why it took me so long to even think of Lucy and Ricky.. I've always loved watching "I Love Lucy" when I was a little girl. I would get to stay up late with my dad just so I could watch it.... And I'd like to think that all my SHITnanigans are pretty much Lucille Ballish, so me being Lucy would be perfectly fitting!! Not too mention Ricky Swedriguez is PERFECT for Ricky Ricardo.... (and no, not just because his first name is Ricky too) But cause as Ricardo, Swedriguez isn't too impressed with all my SHITnanigans either...... Now I just gotta go on the hunt tomorrow to piece together my outfit for tomorrow night!!. Oh and crap-olahs! I also gotta find this damn hat for Ricky Ricardo's outfit!! 

Pictures to come........... Stay Tuned!!

Inspiration

This WILL be my color scheme for the next place I live in. LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE..... oh wait, did I mention how much I LOOOOVE this?!

Paranoia Activity

Saw this picture on Pinterest and died laughing cause I do this EVERY night and have done this ever since I was little. 

Here are a few other things that gets my Paranoia kicking in overdrive: 

• Taking a shower at night when I'm home by myself.......When you're in the shower you can't hear shit but the water. You don't know if an intruder just came in and is waiting for you in your closet cause he knows you're naked and you are an easy rape!!! 
• When its night time and my dog barks...... Why is he barking? He never barks!!! That must mean there is a killer outside with a knife waiting to kill me! 
• When it's past 8pm and someone rings your doorbell...... Im no fool! I'm not expecting anybody and I've seen the movie "The Strangers".. I just pretend that I'm not home, even though my T.V is blasted and the lights are on. Then I grab Mason and lay really still on the floor behind the couch (that way if people shoot the door down the bullets would miss us) call the person living closest to me and tell them to come over please cause someone just knocked on my door. (True story, I've had to do this twice already. :-/)
• When I lay in bed and hear any out of the ordinary noise.... I lay there pre planning all my possible "panic room" spots in my house or escape routes for me and Mason.   
• Coming home and it's night-time out to see that I left my blinds open.... Now the killer can see in but I can't see out to know where he is! So now I have to rush to close my blinds and run upstairs till I know the coast is clear to come back down.

Yes, I probably just sounded like a real crazy nut job right now..... but this is why it's called PARANOIA***!!! 

            ***par·a·noi·a/ˌparəˈnoiə/

Noun:

A mental condition characterized by delusions of persecution

My New Obsession

Too Sweet Treats....

Got myself in the Holiday Spirit (aka I was BORED) and decided to make some treats.


Dunkin Donut chocolate and glazed Munchkins covered in white chocoloate with M&M's for the pupils and red gel frosting....

Seeing as I don't even like chocolate and neither does Mason. I decided to get even more crafty and wrap em up extra special and give them to "The Bf"

Needless to say, they didn't taste as great as they looked. Turns out they were WAY too SWEET..... But at least they looked Super SWEET!!

2 - 4

Dear Cardinals,

Please give my mom the worst day of her life and WIN today!!!! She is the biggest Steelers fan and today is her first time EVER at a football game. Given the fact that she is a senile lady, being a Steelers fan makes perfect sense..... So lets make her first football experience one to remember!!! Thanks!

                                                    Much Love,

                                      An Arizona Native and Loyal Fan

Look Ma, No PANTS!!!

Really Xtina??? ...

                                                

So not cute..... Your recent trashiness has made me consider burning your "Stripped" album.... and that album is way up there on my list of favorite albums..... Please Please Please stop getting dressed while you are intoxicated!! Your are far to pretty to look this trashy.

Swagger Jacking at its Best

Love this look on Lauren Conrad so I pieced together a similar look for you to steal!! 

1. Lucca Couture - The Lorimer Sweater $85.00

Karmaloop.com

2. Co-Lab - The Brandie Fold Over Camera Bag $56.95 

Karmaloop.com

3. Forever 21 - Chain Bib Necklace $10.80

Forever 21 stores or Forever21.com

4. Billabong - Kiss and Tell Shorts $54.50

Swell.com

Operation Piss an Albanian Dad Off

For those of you that are not aware, ESPN magazine has a super sweet Body Issue that hit stands October 7th. For most people, this issue is just another toilet read with lots of naked athletes to inspire you while you take a poop. Well while this issue was exactly that for me too... It also inspired me in a mischievous sort of way....

The Plot: Create a man shrine for my dad by framing all the naked male athletes in the magazine and posting them all over his room.

The Victim: An old fashion Albanian dad that has no sense of humor and hates to be messed with.

The Culprit: The old fashion Albanian dad's FAVORITE* daughter that loves to push his buttons just because she can get away with it... In other words... ME! :-)
          *True statement, and it is known to the whole family

Bedside men for manly dreams.....

It would be a disgrace to turn on the T.V when you have these to men to stare at instead..

Everyone LOVES some Cock in the Sock drawer.....

A Lil toothbrushing eye candy....

Morning wood meets morning log....

Car ride companion......

So turns out my dad didn't appreciate the man shrine I made for him...... But little did my dad know, the man shrine did not stop just in his bedroom....My dad lays out his clothes for him to wear the next day. I figured he would love his man shrine so much that he would want to take a piece of it with him while he is out and about during his day. So the kind thoughtful daughter that I am, folded up an EXTRA special picture and put it in his pants pocket. My scheme worked out perfectly because yesterday my mom told me while her and my dad were at MVD, my dad reached in his pocket while at the counter and curiously pulled out the folded picture I put in there...... Ahhhhhhhh Operation Piss my dad off was a complete SUCCESS!!! :-)

Hybrid Adventure Series

So yesterday Ricky Swedriguez and myself participated in the Hybrid Adventure DEATH Series.... Boy oh boy am I feeling it even worse today then when I was actually doing it yesterday!....

 5.4 mile run thru McDowell Mtn trails IN 100 degree heat + A girl who hasn't worked out in like 6 months = 1 hour and 48 minutes of a slow death to the finish line. 

Thankfully there was beer waiting for us at the finish line... But before I can even get to the beer I had to make a pit stop at the water table to THROW UP AGAIN... yes that's right... I threw up. 3 times to be exact!!..... 

After we hydrated ourselves with the most delicious PBR I've ever tasted, we continued on with the events.... Archery Range, Tire Flipping and an Obstacle Course..... unfortunately we didn't have enough time OR energy to do the keg toss event.... Maybe next year.... 

Until then TOUGH MUDDER in January... And this I WILL actually be getting my ass into shape for!!!

The Game has NO GAME

So I saw on TMZ the other day that The Game proposed to his longtime baby mama..... in the TACKIEST, LAMEST fashion..... Clearly his name doesn't represent him well......

First off, why the fuck is there a camera crew?? It was a 20 second proposal!! Homeboy could have used a fucking camera phone. Second, IT WAS A 20 SECOND PROPOSAL!!! What type of bullshit is that? I don't care how big the rock on the ring may have been... (given his shitty proposal, I wouldn't hold my breath that it's even a worthy enough ring to say yes) or how many kids you have with this guy or how long your history is with him. If this was me I would have said NO given just the simple facts that:

1. He showed up with a camera crew and group of people ambushing her in a door way.

2. He ambushed her while she was not looking to her full potential. (If its gonna be on camera and a memory to last forever I sure as hell do not want to look busted up.)

3. He didn't even say shit to her. He just got down on his knee and put the ring on her finger. (He couldn't of even freestyled or some shit!?! I mean come on dude.. you rap for a living. You must have something clever to say.)

Mighty Penis meets Purple Vagina

*Side Note* I don't know why but I find it FUN to just say the words Penis and Vagina... I try to make it a point to say those words at least once a day. Even if its for no apparent reason at all.

Ok. Ok. Back to the matter at hand. 
All parties in this story will remain Anonymous to protect their identity. So we will just call them Mighty Penis and Purple Vagina


So Sunday I get a text message from Purple Vagina saying how she has some serious crazy shit to tell me and that I need to contact her ASAP! Me being the great friend that I am, ignored the message and waited til the next day (when I had planned to see her) for her to tell me her "CRAZY STORY".... P.s. If I had known how crazy it actually was, I for sure would have contacted her THAT night!!.... 


The next day comes and as expected, I see her and ask her what's up. She tells me how Friday night she had sex with Mighty Penis (using a condom). After they were done doing the nasty she told Mighty Penis how her vagina is in serious pain and it is starting to look purple. (Hence the name Purple Vagina) So Purple Vagina freaks out, leaves Mighty Penis' house and goes home to figure what is going on with her vagina. Purple Vagina and her Google Queen friend came to the conclusion that it was an allergic reaction to the condom so not to freak out. Purple Vagina slept it off until the next day when she woke up still in serious pain and realized her vagina now looks more swollen and like a hanging ball sack. Not knowing what to do, Purple Vagina is now forced to tell her mother. Not only is she about to tell her that her vagina is about to fall off. But she has to tell her for the first time that she is sexually active..... Can we say awkward?!?! In true Purple Vagina fashion, instead of just telling her mother like a NORMAL person, she calls her mother into her room and instantly drops her pants and tells her mom to look at her vagina. Clearly her mother is confused why the fuck she is staring at a grown girls vagina... she then notices how Purple Vagina's vagina is seriously swollen. She gets the good news that her daughter is sexually active and now needs medical attention. 


The two of them come to the conclusion that Purple Vagina needs to get medical attention so P.V goes to the E.R. The Dr. tells her that while Mighty Penis was giving it to her he also must have busted a blood vessel in her vagina resulting in the pain, swelling and her new name Purple Vagina. 


After a long embarrassing weekend P.V can rest easy now knowing that:

1. She isn't allergic to condoms, so she can still practice safe sex 
2. She no longer has to hide from her mom that she is a skank and likes Penis
3. The Dr gave her prescriptions for Percocets 
4. She got a Dr. note to excuse her from school and work for the next 3 days. 
5. She has a keeper in Mighty Penis for giving it to her so good that she had to get sent to the E.R

Guilty as Charged

So my dear friend Flo is SOMETIMES guilty of being a Reject. But only sometimes people..... Girls, don't hold this against him. He really is a super cool guy. 

Here would be a very recent example of one of those times where he is a reject tho....

Aferdita Kosovrasti

Bringing the convo over to your wall cause along with liking your own posts, Facebook 101 on Being a Reject also consists of starting a conversation with a person on another persons wall post......

 ·  · See friendship · 3 hours ago · 

• Flo Begu likes this.
• • 

    Aferdita Kosovrasti lol..... No im 2nd in my league right now and I am extremely upset about that!!!

    3 hours ago ·  ·  1 person
  • 

    Flo Begu U seem to know alot about being a Facebook reject??? Hmmmmm lol but that sucks. Just another time when Aferdita comes in 2nd lol

    3 hours ago · 
  • 

    Flo Begu BTW I liked ur last comment only bc u said were 2nd! :p

    3 hours ago · 
  • 

    Aferdita Kosovrasti FB 101 of Being a Reject was created byFlo Begu. Just assume everything you do on FB is in the manual.

    3 hours ago ·  ·  1 person
  • 

    Aferdita Kosovrasti kinda like telling me why you liked my last comment.

    3 hours ago ·  ·  1 person
  • 

    Aferdita Kosovrasti lol

    3 hours ago · 
  • 

    Flo Begu Lmfao fuck youuuuu!

    3 hours ago ·  ·  1 person
  • 

    Flo Begu I created after observing u for awhile. I was like Steve Irwin & u were a crocodile.

    3 hours ago · 
  • 

    Aferdita Kosovrasti you created what? You mean you are Steve Irwin and I am the Stingray??

    3 hours ago ·  ·  1 person
  • 

    Flo Begu Lmfao if I was next to u right now. Man o man

    3 hours ago ·  ·  1 person
  • 

    Aferdita Kosovrasti ‎:-)

    3 hours ago ·  ·  1 person
  • 

    Flo Begu ‎;p

    2 hours ago · 
  • 

    Aferdita Kosovrasti HAHAHAHA!!!! Tell me why I knew you would like my smiley face comment!!! Oh Flo.... you crack me up. lol

    2 hours ago · 
  • 

    Flo Begu I was trying be nice u fucker I swear I wasn't at first I was actually thinking about it like why the fuck did she put a Smiley face? And a weird one? Is she fuckin with me? Put an IRobot Smiley face. Shit looks like u lol

    2 hours ago ·