Mighty Penis meets Purple Vagina

*Side Note* I don't know why but I find it FUN to just say the words Penis and Vagina... I try to make it a point to say those words at least once a day. Even if its for no apparent reason at all.

Ok. Ok. Back to the matter at hand. 
All parties in this story will remain Anonymous to protect their identity. So we will just call them Mighty Penis and Purple Vagina


So Sunday I get a text message from Purple Vagina saying how she has some serious crazy shit to tell me and that I need to contact her ASAP! Me being the great friend that I am, ignored the message and waited til the next day (when I had planned to see her) for her to tell me her "CRAZY STORY".... P.s. If I had known how crazy it actually was, I for sure would have contacted her THAT night!!.... 


The next day comes and as expected, I see her and ask her what's up. She tells me how Friday night she had sex with Mighty Penis (using a condom). After they were done doing the nasty she told Mighty Penis how her vagina is in serious pain and it is starting to look purple. (Hence the name Purple Vagina) So Purple Vagina freaks out, leaves Mighty Penis' house and goes home to figure what is going on with her vagina. Purple Vagina and her Google Queen friend came to the conclusion that it was an allergic reaction to the condom so not to freak out. Purple Vagina slept it off until the next day when she woke up still in serious pain and realized her vagina now looks more swollen and like a hanging ball sack. Not knowing what to do, Purple Vagina is now forced to tell her mother. Not only is she about to tell her that her vagina is about to fall off. But she has to tell her for the first time that she is sexually active..... Can we say awkward?!?! In true Purple Vagina fashion, instead of just telling her mother like a NORMAL person, she calls her mother into her room and instantly drops her pants and tells her mom to look at her vagina. Clearly her mother is confused why the fuck she is staring at a grown girls vagina... she then notices how Purple Vagina's vagina is seriously swollen. She gets the good news that her daughter is sexually active and now needs medical attention. 


The two of them come to the conclusion that Purple Vagina needs to get medical attention so P.V goes to the E.R. The Dr. tells her that while Mighty Penis was giving it to her he also must have busted a blood vessel in her vagina resulting in the pain, swelling and her new name Purple Vagina. 


After a long embarrassing weekend P.V can rest easy now knowing that:

1. She isn't allergic to condoms, so she can still practice safe sex 
2. She no longer has to hide from her mom that she is a skank and likes Penis
3. The Dr gave her prescriptions for Percocets 
4. She got a Dr. note to excuse her from school and work for the next 3 days. 
5. She has a keeper in Mighty Penis for giving it to her so good that she had to get sent to the E.R